Oxymoron

Harini result exam keluar. Pfft.. Eventhough it is not as high as something to be proud of, but still I must say Alhamdulillah. Dan alhamdulillah sekali lagi sebab most importantly i passed! Because you know,the deal here is sesiapa yg tak pass salah satu paper must repeat that particular paper and like seriously,I dont want that to happen! Gila weh nak repeat paper yg daripada foudation time degree. Tak ke dua kali kerja tu? Nak study subject degree,nak revise subject foundation. Fuuh. Berat2! Tak sanggup. So alhamdulillah. Allah murahkan rezeki dan permudahkan jalan. Pointer pun tak adalah bagus mana tapi cukup dah rasanya bila dah boleh buat mak dengan ayah senyum tengok pointer. =)

The best part is,I've got the IC numbers of all the TESLA members. Luckily I still have the LC proposal so I have the access to their IC numbers. HEWHEW. Checking one after another,I want to congratulate all the TESLA members for that excellent performance and pointers they obtained. All the hard work have been paid off. Yang tak tidur malam,takut takut bagai(point kat muka sendiri) tu,boleh lah tidur dengan tenang. After all,this is the foundation only. Tak bawa kemana pun pointer foundation because once you entered the degree programme,pointer foundation tu seolah-olah di reset ke butang 0 semula since we are going to further our study here as well. So degree is like the new fresh start. Kan? Saya berjanji untuk tidak take for granted zaman degree kerana saya sangat berdoa untuk mengejar degree kelas pertama tu. Nak tolak tepi dulu all the whatnots apa kebenda entah yang mengarut ngarut jiwang karat feeling feeling bagai ni. Ah,masa hanya untuk diri sendiri. In shaa Allah. Cukuplah zaman foundation saya terumbang ambing dengan hal duniawi dan melalaikan. Astaghfirullahalazim. Terasa jahil benar. *sigh

Tapi kalau jodoh sampai awal,apa salahnya? EH? AHAHAHA!

So esok which is 27th December 2012 I will sit for my JPJ test. Woo~ Another burdensome and my nightmare test. Like extremely I am shivering for tomorrow's test. Just now "refresh" lesson didnt really go as I hoped. Seminggu lebih tinggal lesson yang diajar oleh Pakcik Azmi tu. Memang la macam enjin tua nak start balik. HAHA! I seriously pray tomorrow is going to be easy for me. I dont want to disappoint Mak and Ayah for this JPJ test. Memang matilah aku kena marah kalau kantoi ujian JPJ ni ohoi!

Please guys,pray for me tomorrow. Tuhan jelah tahu betapa cuak dan menggigilnya aku untuk esok ni ha. Semoga semua berjalan lancar esok hari. Semoga aku lulus ujian JPJ ni. Semoga JPJ yg test aku esok adalah orang yang lembut hati. HEHE~ *menaip sambil gigil*

My eyes are getting heavy now. Perut pun dah krik krok daripada tadi. Which should I do first? Tidur kot? HEHEH. I better get some rest I suppose. Okay,cut the crap. 

Congrats to me and my friends. Wish me luck for tomorrow! And and and most importantly,I love you guys! 

footnote Izzatulisme :

1. Geng Jelita sumpah I miss you guys! Like you guys have encountered my dreams for plenty times already. Its a sign of maximum kerinduan! 

2. Rindu jugak dengan si gila berenam yang berasal daripada pelbagai negeri. Oh,bakal berjumpa mereka less than one week. =)

Till then. Jaga diri,jaga hati,jaga iman. =)

Assalamualaikum.

Fitrah

Berkawan itu tidak salah.

Dan memang tak pernah salah pun secara fitrahnya.

Tapi perlu ada had nya.

Dan sentiasa kena ada had.

Sebab apa? Sebab setiap tindakan kita ada pros and cons dia.

Jadi, kau kena tahu batas batas setiap perkataan dan gerak geri kau,

bergantung dengan siapa you are dealing with

and most importantly,how you feel towards that person.

Well,aku bercakap based on experience. :)

Unlike Any Other Dreams

Another one week left before my lovely over-one-month semester break is going to end. And the upcoming month will be super duper busy hectic i tell ya. Dengan nak hari sukan nya lah,ada larian apa kebenda nya lah. Well,those are annual activities so I guess they should be expected lah kan? *sigh

Oh yeah,actually this time I am not really going to tell about my boring-not-lovely-holiday that I spent. How I wake up everyday,urm,yeah. I dont think that's necessary. NGEE~ :D

Grappling with my thoughts,urm,well,yeah,I've been thinking about this one thing.

Have you ever dreamt of someone whom you never know or met in person but just come into your view as your friend's friend? The person who you only know solely based on their name,and only a vague picture? Yeah yeah,I know this one is pretty confusing but let's just put this one into a big whole dimension of your imagination. Err.. I dont know how to describe this but yes, it happened to me. No no,I'm not the one who dreamt but I was the one to be in the dream of my friend's friend.

It was quite nerve-wrecking when I was being told about it. Because come to think of it,how on earth would you dream of someone who you never knew in person? Okay okay,unless you are a like a famous-rich-with-great-publicity all over the press then yes,it shouldn't be a question. Blergh! I dreamt of Fahrin Ahmad once okay? =='

And the best part is the person who invited me into that "thrilling" dream was a guy. He is a friend to my friend in IPG. And I still wonder how did he know my name,and and and the biggest wonder here is how did he know that I was the one in the dream? I mean,how did he recognize me if he never met me?

This was what he told my friend,

"Eh,malam tadi aku ada mimpi kawan hang yang nama apa tu,izzatul tu ha".

Should I or shouldn't I had that massive jaw-dropped at that moment? Hello,of course I should. Really? Like seriously? In fact, I have just seen his picture only once. Itu pun jelas tak jelas. I mean its not like I have that clear picture of him in my mind. And how come this whole-cutey face of mine can ever invade a stranger's dream? I was kind of freaked out but its nothing like scared to the hell ke apa. Its just like,I had that queer feeling. Super duper queeeeerrrrr~~ Please dont tell me you won't feel the same if you were to be in my place?

Then I just laughed after she told me that. Come on,she was also shocked hearing that. So I have more than reasonable reasons to always wonder and wonder indeed.

Since then, I started to take a deeper look at this guy's face through his facebook and twitter. You know, just to make any detail analyze just in case i happened to meet this guy somewhere I never know, or maybe he was my childhood friend. I mean,who knows? Maybe there's any chance we were friends before. But no,I have been trying so hard to match the face recognition of his with my mind memory but none seems compatible.

No,dont misunderstood. Its nothing like perasan ke bajet bajet ke apa. I just wonder. Because it never happened to me. Never. Never. Ever. If any stranger happened to be acting in my dreams,I wouldnt know if he or she is somewhere out there whom I never met. Yeah,I admit this is very first time for me. Laugh as you wish,I dont mind.

But lets just be honest, you wonder about it too right? NGAHAHAHAHAH!! :P


Footnote by Izzatulisme :

this is the free-typing version of entry without any backspace. Any typo should be considered. And and grammatical error kindly be forgiven. I'm no English Guru yet. TEEHEE~~

P/s : I miss the old me so bad. I just want her back. Thats all. =)

Foundation Over

Around this coming 31st December,I'll be flying off to Kelantan. Back. Yeah,and this will happen for another four years,sadly. *ecewah,nak jugak guna "flying off" tu padahal dalam negeri pun*

But this time,no more foundation year. The foundation year has finally over and I am about to enter the degree programme. Proudly present Bachelor of Education in Teaching English as a Second Language. Woohoo~ Clap clap dance dance.

To be honest,I think I am so going to miss those foundation moments. Yup,unlike other foundations,here we have 3 semesters of foundation and its like 1 year and a half. The best part is, we have the same holiday as the school since we are the future teachers. So,maybe we can see the relevance of having this kind of schedule,eh?
Here are some of the subject during my foundation years that I am not going to face any more after this.

Language Development - This subject is the lightest subject of all those four core subjects in my course. Since this subject doesnt really required you to memorize any fact,just the same thing you learnt in school ever since UPSR times,but this time it is way highly a killer. The learning process of this subject actually comes from your own learning,how much you read English materials,how much you enrich your vocabs, how many current issues you gained from newspapers,how good you can construct the well-polished sentences. And all of them can be seen through your writing in the pieces of paper or precisely your essays. Yes,essayssssss. *okay,exaggeration takes place*

Language Description - This subject is also known as Grammar. Ah-ha. The killer subject. Well,I am not really into this kind of grammar thing so I guess thats the reason it has not been that intimate with me. Naa~ I must say,in contrast with Language Development,this subject acquired an extremely high comprehension and memorization since the rules of applying all sorts of grammar in every sentences must be understood and well-versed. For all you know,the sentences that you've been practicing like forever has some major grammatical errors. Thats how we practice the grammar. Or else, you'll be doomed. I can guarantee you that,for sure. This time around it is not like how we learnt in schools but way more deep to that extent that this thought might comes across "why the hell should I learn this,man?" =='


English Studies - This subject is also known as Literature. Naa~ You have no idea how it feels like to study this level of literature. Its not like back then when we were getting spoonfeed with those points and evidences on the novel studies. It doesnt work that way,man. At this level,we understood what literature is all about and why those poems,short stories,drama and etc are created,what is the message behind those masterpiece.  Everything is between the lines and no,you can never be good in English Studies if you never know how to read between the lines because the meaning is always to be interpreted using the ideas of oneself. But the best thing about this subject is that there is no right or wrong answer. Just as long as you can prove your ideas based on solid evidences,no one can doubt your answer. Well,maybe I'm quite good at standing on my point. I think so. hikhik

Social Studies - Erm. I bet you know what this subject is all about based on the name only right? This subject,we go through every single thing the society have been talking and practicing since before.The culture,current issues etc. It involves solely on your interest of getting to know the worldwide nation as what happened globally. Well, I must thank this subject because without it, I wont be able to know about Rohingya,Rwandan genocide,Rothschild family. Who dominates the world currency,who runs the world economy, and who is responsible for the global pollution. Yeah,we study those things. Interesting. Beyond in the book knowledge. That is why we dont have any specific text or reference book for Social Studies. Because the knowledge is everywhere. =)


So gonna miss those subjects. Herm. Apparently I am going to have another hardcore subjects for degree,those that certainly attended my skill in writing.

Till then. Bye bye foundation. I am so going to miss you. Life has to move on. I miss you but lets just keep it in the box tightly. Thanks for all those sweet memories,my dear foundation. =))

SONG IN MOTION (SEMESTER 1)

RECREATIONAL SPORT CAMPING PROGRAMME (SEMESTER 1)

 SOCIAL STUDIES EXHIBITION SEMESTER 1

KUALA GANDAH TRIP(SEMESTER 2)

KING LEAR STAGING(SEMESTER 2)

AKTIVITI SUKAN DAN PERMAINAN TRADISIONAL AT BUKIT KELUANG(SEMESTER 2)

 KEM SEMBELIHAN AT PANTAI MELAWI (SEMESTER 2)

LANGUAGE CAMP AT SM SAINS MACHANG (SEMESTER 2)

EDU TRIP TO TAMAN NEGARA (SEMESTER 3)

ANNUAL DINNER (SEMESTER 3)

P/S : 

I walked away before this with mountains of hopes that you are going to find me and everything will be fine just like how they used to be but no,not this time. This time around,I am going to walk away with mountains of hopes and prays that I am going to find myself and my Creator. No turning back,no everything will be fine with you because I believe I deserve someone much better. Not a player like you. If you think I am just like your other toys,no. I am not. I'm not them. And I believe too,these are the signs from Allah to me so that I will do something about it. Thank you,Ya Allah.

19 tahun bernafas.

Okay,its been a month since my birthday.  And just like my annual activity on this blog, I would update all the wishes and what happened on that day itself. Okay, 23rd August 2012 which was on the fifth day og Eid Fitr. These are all the wishes I got on the day. Well,not all. Some of them. These are the significant ones, I guess. =)

The first birthday wish, was a phone call from Syaza Mariyah, a call way from Korea. I'm so touched. :'(

Then the first birthday wish through a text message saying  :-

"Assalamualaikum. Sahabatku Izzatul Nazihah. Selamat ulangtahun kelahiran sayang. =) Semoga sukses dan ceria2 selalu. Persahabatan kekal selamanya. Salam Aidilfitri Maaf Zahir Batin." - Nur Syazwani Bt Sulehan

"Tul! Happy Birthday dear! Semoga Allah sentiasa memberkati dan merahmati hidup kau. Semoga kau bahagia di samping keluarga tersayang. dan semoga kau berjaya dunia akhirat. Nanti jadi cikgu comel tau. hehe. Happy birthday tul! Live your life to the fullest okeh! Apapun, utamakan redha Allah. InsyaAllah semuanya dipermudahkan. Amin =) Sayang kau.!!" -Nurul Farhanah Aminuddin

"Kehadapan adindaku Izzatul. Selamat hari ulangtahun yang ke 19 woii!! Hahaha.. Aku doakan kau berjaya dunia akhirat okay! Love yaa!! xx" -Siti Syuhada Lokman

"Assalamualaikum! Ehm3.. Saya, Nurhafizsah Bt Zaimey ingin mengucapkan selamat hari jadi kepada Izzatul Nazihah dan semoga sihat. Ceria sentiasa. Maafkan segala salah silap saya dan semoga persahabatan ini berkekalan selamanya." - Nurhafizsah Bt Zaimey

"Izat! Hepy bday si ikan buntal :p" -Nur Fauziah Bt Mohd Ali

"Happy birthday izzat! Have a blast on your special day and may Allah blessed you througout your journey. =) " - Nur Ain Bt Ghazali

"Happy Birthday" -Haziq Ishak

"Izatt!! Happy Birthday sayang." -Nur Khairunnisa Bt Raja Mohd

"Tul! Happy birthday! Semoga panjang umur n murah rezeki. Kalau boleh jgn jadi warga tetap kelatan tau. =) have a blast! " -Nadiatul Akmar bt Ros Saidi

"Happy Birthday!!! May Allah bless, <3 -="-" binti="binti" izyan="izyan" p="p" safari.="safari." zahirah="zahirah">

"Tul. Selamat hari jadi ye.. Semoga panjang umur n murah rezeki. Gud luck with your study. And for whatever you are achieving for. Have fun.. =D Jgn lupa aku tul. hahahaha. Syg kau. =D" - Muhammad Akif bin Abu Bakar.

"Assalam hatol. Happy besday izzatul nazihah @ bucik selangor. Mau you have the best in your life, semoga diberkati Allah selalu. Ameen =D The last person tak? HEHEH " - Nursyafiqah Farah Bt Rosdi

"Atul,happy birthday! Aku syg kau. Moga kau sihat dan dimurahkan rezeki sokmo. Kau jaga diri and 'hati' kau elok2. Haa..kau jgn nak gedik la lepas ni. Dah besar ye bucik. Aku sorang je paling junior. Ucapan ikhlas dari - emily the strange " - Nurul Insyirah Bt Zaidi

"Oi.happy birthday atul.. semoga kau makin matang ye..penat dah aku layan kau selama neh..hehe " -Muhamad Azim Hanifi bin Khilmi

"Happy birthday atul! ceria ceria selalu. PAnjang umur" - Che Nur Asyiqin bt Che Khamshah

"Oik budak!! Happy birthday..nanti hadiah kau aku belikan.. =P aku bukan lupa tau,just bosang eh jadi orang awal wish..haha. love u not much..tc.. " -Khairatul Amirah bt Zainuddin

"Assalamualaikum. Sanah helwa izzatul nazihah bt yahya. Semoga mendapat keberkatan dan keredhaanNya dalam setiap perkara yg dilakukan,semoga mendapat yg terbaik dalam segenap aspek kehidupan.semoga berjaya dunia dan akhirat, dan semoga berbahagia selalu. InsyaAllah =) " - Mohamad Lukhmanul Hakim bin Hussin

"Assalamualaikum izzatul. Selamat hari lahir yg ke-19. Semoga dipanjangkan umur dan dimurahkan rezeki. InsyaAllah. Semoga berjaya capai cita2. Amin. Kirim salam kat family dan wish happy birthday kat kakak jugak. :') " -Siti Norlaila Bt Abdul Halim

Phone calls that come from Alif Asyraf, Syaza Mariyah. Fatin Fareena, Akif Abu Bakar. I appreciate it guys,seriously. Nak menitis airmata ni ha. srett..srett..srett.. *hembus hingus* euuww..

okay,atul pengotor. LOL!

i received the tiny mr.patrick from azim hanifi, a frame picture with the seven of us in it from siti adawiyah,bracelet from siti norlaila,name keychain from nurul insyirah and also teddy bear keychain from nursyafiqah farah. thanks my new family. i love you guys, till jannah. insyaAllah.

it may not be the best moment ever for my birthday but i cherish those. every.single.moment. 

thank you,and forever thank you. =)

Silhouette

                                                                     

This song is my current addiction. Not to mention the lyrics, well,perhaps it is almost exactly what I feel now. I hope you know how much I suffered because of you. Thanks to you for this unbearable pain. Now I learn how to deal with my abrupt feeling.Thanks Owl City for making me addicted. 



                                                              "Silhouette" - Owl City

I'm tired of waking up in tears
'Cause I can't put to bed these phobias and fears
I'm new to this grief I can't explain
But I'm no stranger to the heartache and the pain

The fire I began is burning me alive
But I know better than to leave and let it die

I'm a silhouette asking every now and then
"Is it over yet? Will I ever feel again?"
I'm a silhouette chasing rainbows on my own
But the more I try to move on, the more I feel alone
So I watch the summer stars to lead me home

I'm sick of the past I can't erase
A jumble of footprints and hasty steps I can't retrace
The mountain of things I still regret
Is a vile reminder that I would rather just forget (no matter where I go)

The fire I began is burning me alive
But I know better than to leave and let it die

I'm a silhouette asking every now and then (now and then)
"Is it over yet? Will I ever smile again?"
I'm a silhouette chasing rainbows on my own
But the more I try to move on, the more I feel alone
So I watch the summer stars to lead me home

'Cause I walk alone
No matter where I go
'Cause I walk alone
No matter where I go
'Cause I walk alone
No matter where I go

I'm a silhouette asking every now and then (now and then)
"Is it over yet? Will I ever love again?"
I'm a silhouette chasing rainbows on my own
But the more I try to move on, the more I feel alone
So I watch the summer stars to lead me home

I watch the summer stars to lead me home.

Izzatulisme  : I am no longer easily fooled. =)

Spoil

Sedap main basketball sampai hujan2 tadi,
serius rasa macam tak jejak tanah aku.
Sedap kot main tak hengat problem.
Release tension dan segala adik beradiknya.
Pheww~

Tapi on the way back tu, aku ingat nak lari daripada problem.
And I seriously thought the problem would not  chase me,at least upon that joyful moment.
But then, I gazed at you-know-who tadi.
Dia pun baru habis main basketball. Well,we played on the same court cuma berlainan side je.
Dia naik motor, bonceng belakang,sambil kepit dua bola basket bawah armpit dia.
Darah aku macam mendidih tak memasal.
Ah sudah.
Muka jadi panas pulak tiba tiba.

Kurang budi bahasa punya manusia.
Berani nak gelak2 bergembira suka riang ria ribena depan aku?
Lepas apa yg kau dah buat kat aku?
Lepas kau dah janji sakan dengan aku.
Urgh...
Ikut hati jahat aku, bola basket yang aku tengah pegang tu, nak je aku baling daripada belakang,kasi hentak kat kepala dia daripada belakang. Biar barai kepala dia sekali dengan bola bola basket kesayangan dia tu. HAHAHAHAAHAHA *gelak jahat*

Okay,aku jahat. :p

Sukahati tabur janji sana sini dekat orang, bajet taiko sweet talker?
Ergh. Mendidih tau darah aku tengok kau seronok sana sini
lepas kau torture emosi aku sampai parah macam ni.
Kau sangat jahat dan kejam dan dan dan dan patut dihantar ke pusat penjagaan kanak kanak.
Pfft...
Serius serius, kau tak layak pun nak senyum apatah lagi ketawa2 depan aku.
Rasa nak tarik je semua gigi kau.

Ok,done.

Spoil mood betul. =='

Toyed

Kadang kadang kan,
I dont know.
At this stage,bukan nak berlagak bajet kuat tough ke apa,
 its just that aku ada satu rasa yang datang tiba tiba.

I want to be the kind of person that when people look at me and  learn my story,
they'll be like "Ah..no wonder la dia jadi macam ni ye sekarang?"

I want people to understand that every lesson comes from my life is significant,each.
And I am not the type of person who lets people enter and escape my life as they please.
I'm not that easy,for God sake.
I make friends but my feeling is not to be toyed.
Tak tau what is the main idea that keeps lingering on my head since just now,but I am looking forward to be that kind of person.

And most important part is ; I want the person who responsible for it to know,to be aware no man should be redeemed as the main cause of all these unless that person itself. Yes my dear you, I am talking about you.

Izzatulisme : Terinspired kejap daripada cerita senior kot. Ah,aku ni mmg mudah terpengaruh budaknya. Kau letak Mr.Patrick depan aku and said that he looks similar to Spongebob pun aku dah senang nak terpengaruh. hewhew

*eh,tu mcm bangang sangat pulak kot? =='

All praises to Him.

In every difficulties, there is always a solution to it. We may not realize this, but sometimes it’s not about the calamities that heave in sight but more to how we cope with them. In every breathe, there should be no harm to at least say “Alhamdulillah” as Allah still have the sympathy towards us, by rewarding us with this ultimate bliss consciousness and hold us from go astray. Astaghfirullahalazim.

 I was once being told by a friend of mine,in our life, there’s no need to spill everything to the world, lets keep some parts to ourselves and Allah. There is a reason why it is called personal though. I aint perfect neither. I am no angel. I made mistakes and so long I gasping for air, my life will never be mistakes-free. For every tear that trickled down my face, mostly is not because of Him. I shudder in solitude, yet I still wonder will there  still be someone out there to at least give me a hand, when not even a glimpse of thought I was aware I still have Him, who is always there, waiting for me to turn to Him whenever I feel in need.  The horrendous thoughts always leave me in vague. I was completely flummoxed by the whole things happened in my life.

I was blinded by the gifts he had given me. Towering my head without saying gratitude towards the Him, the one who owned my soul, our souls.

For everything happened be it good or bad, for every time He guides me to the right path, say Alhamdulillah.  As we can never know the signs that Allah leaves for us.

I thanked You, Ya Allah for all these wake up calls.

Pacing Back.

Whenever I hear "You Took My Heart Away" by Michael Learns to Rock,

"A Thousand Years" by C.Perri,

"Next to You" by Chris Brown

"Heart Vacancy" by The Wanted,

pasaraya "Tunas Manja"

or

whenever I eat Tempoyak Ikan Patin,

Whenever I watch Kobe Bryant in basketball,

Liverpool matches,

or people wearing Liverpool jersey,

or the tag "You'll Never Walk Alone"

dodgeball,

dikir barat,

or see the Redbull drink anywhere,

or gazing at a watch with the brand of ROSCANI,

I could still recall when we used to exchange our watches.


And sadly, none of them could not lighten up my memory towards you.

Every single one of them seems to steal my thoughts on you.

Dear heart,please stay strong. :')

p/s : Will be going back tomorrow to Selangor. Eventhough it will be only for two days,but I still feel the contentment to be at home. I dont know,with all this misery, home is my only remedy.

August

Sudah masuk bulan Ogos. Dan seperti tahun tahun sebelum ni,apparently I am waiting for this month or to be precise I am waiting for the 23rd August. Yeay2! It is when I am going to turn 19 this year.

Well,I would make a post about my birthday wishes during the day itself every year so insyaAllah, I am going to make a post about it later. But it is still a long way to go right? Herm. Nevermind.

My aim this year ;
I just want to see who would sincerely remember my birthday without the reminder from Facebook.


*I am still going to wait for your wish though we dont talk to each other anymore and I know you won't remember let alone to know my birthday. =)

Cold as you.

Maybe I've been travelling backwards too much lately. 

Dear friend,

I'm sorry, its not that I refused to open my heart. Its just that I am not ready for anything related to this. The old wound still doesnt heal,well,literally it's still bleeding. Every little tip of blood scratch my heart and I need,really need to seek for my remedy. Well,to be honest, I dont feel like I should be opened up to anybody at this moment because the last time I did, I got hurt. Deeply hurt,even hearing the voice from the person itself could tear me into pieces. You have no idea how badly affected I am. I am afraid of getting hurt again as I cant,really cant afford another heartbreak. I am not able to stand when my knees are weak, I dont possess that kind of strength. I am currently trying to move on from the past. And I sincerely believe moving on doesnt necessarily require a new partner. When Allah is with me, I'll be fine as well as everything. For the time being,let me keep all the love and care to myself until Allah sends me my other half. I appreciate you as a friend. I really do.

I cant afford another heartbreak, so I pray that the next time I meet a new person,he will be the one,my other half. 

Amin~

"The only way to prevent my heart from getting broken again is to act like I dont have one."

(Noorazita Abdullah,2012)

Kawan,

Aku tak kata aku alim.
Apatah lagi warak.
Aku sedar aku ni siapa.
Bukan sesiapa yg layak nak cakap pasal agama.
Ilmu aku dangkal. Tapi aku ada niat yg baik utk kita.
Solat pagi petang siang malam belum tentu terjamin jadi ahli syurga.

Aku tahu tu,kawan.

Tapi tak salah rasanya kalau aku ajak kau buat benda baik,sama sama dengan aku.
Biar kalau jadi baik,kita sama sama jadi baik.
Cuma aku kecewa,kenapa?
Kenapa ajakan aku macam tak diendah langsung?

Aku tahu,nak buat benda baik mmg payah.
Jujur aku kata,
Kau orang yg rapat,dekat dgn hati aku.
Jadi kalau kita buat benda baik sama sama,semangat itu jadi lebih.
Rasa seronok nak buat benda baik tu meluap luap.
Betul,sebab tu aku bersungguh ajak kau.
Pujuk ; baik cara kasar mahupun lembut.
Sebab aku nak kalau boleh,baik buruk,cantik hodoh,semua benda kita buat sama sama.
Kau kan kawan baik aku?

Miracles do happen everyday.

Mungkin betul,bersangka baik sangat membantu.

Lagi lagi bila kau tahu semangat kau mula terbang.

Itu apa yang aku cuba usahakan sekarang ni.

Nak berdendam,benci orang lama lama pun tak guna.

Memenatkan diri dan buang masa.

Hidup pun tak tenang.

Maafkan semua orang,minta maaf dengan semua orang.

Ya,aku pegang pada itu.

Tak apa,aku yakin dengan janji Tuhan.

Sesudah kesulitan itu pasti ada kemudahan.

Kan?

"Siapa bersangka baik kepada Allah,dia tidak akan pernah rugi"

Izzatulisme:

Bulan ni serius sibuk tahap tak hengat. Event macam macam, and I cant seemed to get myself really organized. Sibuk gila kot. Rehat tak cukup and aku banyak terlupa kerja kerja yang aku kena settle. Assignment+event. Hopefully I could get myself busy with a lot of things to do so that I wont have time to think of crap. Wish me luck!

Once upon a time..

"Will we wait on each other?"

"I will if you will."

"If you find someone better than me, just take him."

"I've told you, I'll wait for you until I have no reason to wait anymore."

"What reason to make it no more reason?"

"If there ever comes a day you dont need me anymore."

"I think it'll never be."

"One thing you should know, I'll stay if you asked me to."

"InsyaAllah. All the best for us. =)"

Still remember this? A midnight conversation when you suddenly brought up this topic? It used to be a meaningful conversation between us but not for you,obviously.

Well, I can see now that the day has come; the day which you dont need me by your side anymore. The day which I should be leaving. The day which I am no longer a part of the important part in your life. So,here it goes. Goodbye and take care. Best of luck to you,friend. =)

Boy : Dont walk away from me,will you?

Girl : Definitely I wont. And will you?

Boy : Never,what we need is time. =)

P/S : Sorry,but I cant put up with any more humiliation from you,dearest friend.

Peace be upon you. =D

Hari Ini.

Harini aku bangun tidur, aku check handphone,aku terus tengok jam.

Kemudian mata aku terus beralih pula ke tarikh.

Aku terus rasa nak senyum.

24 jam tu tak adalah lama mana pun. =)

6 bulan pula macam sehari je rasa.

Bak kata seorang kawan aku, terlalu cepat nak bertindak apa apa yang drastik dalam tempoh sependek ini.

Tempoh pendek macam tu tak pernah bawa sebarang makna pun.

Heheh.

Dunia dunia.

Kau mesti tak faham kan?

Nevermind. Abaikan.

*mood: nyanyi nyanyi lagu The Beatles - Yesterday*

P/S : Sekarang tengah musim assignment. Tension,setiap kali aku pasang niat nak siapkan assignment awal mesti tak dapat sebab idea tak ada. Bila dah hujung hujung tu baru mencurah curah idea sampai. Herm.. I work best under high pressure kot. *sigh*

Hidup Aku,Hidup kau.

Balinglah tahi kat muka aku selagi kau rasa kau mampu nak baling.

Baling sampai kau rasa kau dah puas.

Baling sampai kau rasa kau dah cukup buat aku nampak kotor.

Kau memang takkan pernah jadi macam dulu.

Aku dah tak larat nak stop kau.

Mungkin kau rasa senang macam tu.

Untuk kali ini,aku jadi kambing hitam.

Tak apa, I wish nothing but the best for you.

Semoga kau bahagia dunia akhirat,kawan. =)

Selesai

Harini aku terima satu cerita.

Or precisely, should I say like this ; cerita cerita daripada mulut orang sekeliling yang aku boleh kata sebahagian daripada masyarakat yang aku jumpa hampir setiap hari.

Sudah ada orang sekeliling yang mula menaruh assumption yang tidak tidak mengenai aku.

Sudah ada mulut mulut yang mula bercakap aku seperti seorang perempuan yang tak tahu apa itu harga diri, mengejar sesuatu yang memang bukan aku punya pun dengan anggapan bahawa itu aku punya.

Senang cakap,perasan.

Mereka kata aku perasan.

Perasan kerana misinterpret kebaikan orang terhadap aku sebagai suatu affection.

Apakah?

Sedangkan cerita sebenar tidak begitu.

Terasa macam dibaling tahi ke muka pun ada.

Mereka bercakap seolah olah aku ini tak tahu apa itu erti malu.

Mereka tak tahu apa apa cerita, tapi sudah judge aku itu ini.

Mereka tak tahu cerita daripada permulaan, pertengahan apatah lagi penghujung.

Jadi selama ini aku bertembung dengan mereka, bersembang dengan mereka,

assumption begitu sudah tebal dalam diri mereka.

Malu,serius malu.

Tak tahu mana nak campak rasa malu ni.

Untuk kali ni, aku yakin.

Bukan main main, bukan tipu tipu.

Aku sudah selesai.

Happy Hour

Dalam beberapa jam lagi akan balik Kelantan.

Dan tiba tiba terasa sedih pulak aku.

Balik cuti lagi sekali, a week before kenduri kahwin kakak.

Dalam gelak gelak,suka suka, happy happy tengok dia dah nak kahwin tu,

sebenarnya aku sedih sangat.

Sedih sebab dia dah nak kahwin.

Yelah,sorang je kot kakak yang ada. :')

Dengan teringat kisah kisah kawan kawan aku before this. Haih..

Lepas ni, tinggallah abang yang bujang tu aku nak ajak ke hulu ke hilir.

Tu pun kalau lama lagi lah dia nak stay bujang lagi. HAHAHA!

And

and

and

tu pun kalau lah dia nak ke hulu ke hilir dengan aku. =='

I know, and I'm also aware of the fact that things are going to be different after this.

Yelah,lepas ni dia dah jadi isteri orang.

Dah tak boleh lah nak beronggeng dengan dia selalu sangat macam sebelum ni. Ye dok?

But its okay.

Asalkan dia happy, aku happy untuk dia.

Siblings kan? :''D

#aku tahu dia mesti rindu aku jugak punyaa.. =P

P/S : ''I didn’t give up .I just turned my eyes away from eyes that couldn’t look into mine. I'm trying to protect all that's left of a heart.''

Adhered to

I couldn't agree more. Ngee~

P/S :

Dear all my lovely and awesome ideas in the brain,

please dont take such a long holiday. I need you guys back as soon as possible. Need to work on some assignments. :'(

Sincerely,

Busy Me.

Stop Minum Berdiri.

Mengapa Rasulullah SAW melarang kita minum sambil berdiri???

Ternyata secara perubatan, dlm tubuh kita terdapat penapis sfringer. Saringan tersebut dapat terbuka ketika kita duduk, dan tertutup ketika kita berdiri. Air yg kita minum belum 100% steril untuk di olah oleh badan. Bila kita minum sambil berdiri, maka air tidak tersaring oleh sfringer kerana tertutup. Air yg tidak tersaring oleh sfringer terus masuk ke kantung kencing, boleh mnyebabkan penyakit kristal ginjal.

Subhanallah, tiap perintah dan larangan Rasul pasti bermanfaat bgi umatnya!
Terapi air putih : JANGAN LUPA BANYAKKAN MINUM AIIR MASAK..

1. Minum 2 gelas air setelah bangun tidur..
dapat membersihkan organ-organ internal.

2. Minum segelas air 30 minit sebelum makan..
dapat membantu fungsi seluruh pencernaan + ginjal.

3. Minum segelas air sebelum mandi..
dapat menurunkan tekanan darah.

4. Minum segelas air sebelum tidur..
dapat mencegah stroke + serangan jantung.

adapted from http://www.loveloveislam.com/2012/02/larangan-minum-berdiri.html

P/S : Rasa macam kena atas kepala jugak bila baca ni. Selalu kot buat kalau tengah rushing,sebab macam dah jadi tabiat. Tapi rupanya benda benda yang kita ambik ringan tu lah yang penting sebenarnya. Aigoo~ Tak nak dah buat lagi lepas ni. Harap harap.

Kaya Miskin

Bahagianya bila tengok anak anak orang kaya

yang tak lokek nak berkongsi,

yang tak kedekut nak membantu.

Langsung tak pandang rendah kat mereka yang kurang mampu ni.

Jangan kata pandang jelik, siap tolong lagi mana yang boleh.

Malah lagi cuba nak faham keadaan orang orang yang kurang mampu ni.

Alahaii..

Kan bagus kalau semua nya macam tu?

*Erk,tapi jangan ambik kesempatan sudah.

P/S : Sedang cuba nak habiskan novel "Everyone Worth Knowing" ni.

Terus senyum.

Entah.

Tak tahu lah.

Kadang kadang sampai satu tahap kau akan rasa bendera putih itu atas kepala.

Letih,

dan hampir saja mahu rasa mengalah.

Penat untuk terus bermain, dengan satu permainan yang kau sendiri tak pasti

mana penghujungnya, mana permulaannya, mana konfliknya, mana klimaksnya, siapa pemainnya.

Betul,kau penat. Sangat penat.

Penat bermain teka teki dengan diri sendiri.

Mungkin ada yang akan bantah tindakan kau

atau katakan yang tidak tidak.

But, I honestly believe we shouldn't be saying anything about anyone unless we try to be in their shoe for one day. At least.

Betul tak?

Jadi sekarang setiap langkah, elok biarkan saja.

Kalau hati itu masih layak terima sebarang luka, biar saja.

Kalau hati itu masih layak terima sebarang maaf, tetap biarkan juga.

Bukan berniat untuk keraskan hati atau apa.

Cuma kalau boleh,

tolonglah didik hati jangan jadi serapuh "handle with care".

Well, I dont really say its going to be tougher this time,but at least just give it a try.

An attempt won't do any harm.

Kan?

Sebab percayalah cakap aku, untuk mengundur sesuatu perbuatan itu tak mudah.

Tapi untuk apa?

Untuk apa dikejar sesuatu yang memang bukan kita punya daripada awal nya lagi?

Untuk apa dipaksa sesuatu yang menolak kita daripada awalnya lagi?

Aku penat.

Penat untuk jelaskan setiap inci rasa yang aku alami,

kepada mereka yang tidak pernah cuba untuk faham maksud aku.

Penat untuk jelaskan setiap maksud patah perkataan aku

kepada mereka yang sentiasa cuba lari daripada aku.

Dan sekarang aku rasa aku sudah selesai.

I'm done with everything I should and ought to.

*err..tidak terlalu public kan?*

Jadi kawan kawan, aku nasihatkan, tolong jangan sesekali bermain teka teki.

Sebab consequencesnya itu banyak. Regardless of any issue. Ngerti?

Melainkan kau nak bagi teka teki "binatang apa keris di kaki" dan seumpamanya,

Ya, itu tiada masalah. =)

Apa yang akan jadi selepas ini, jadilah.

Bukan give up, cuma mahu biar.

Aku tidak mahu mencari,aku tidak mahu tersalah interpret, aku tidak mahu kecewa.

Aku tak mahu yang tidak tidak.

Itu saja.

Aku cuma mahu senyum.

Ya,satu senyuman yang aku sendiri tak pasti ikhlasnya itu sudah aku campak ke mana.

Jadi, aku sedang belajar terima semua apa yang berlaku sekarang dengan baik.

Aku belajar mengikut rentak orang.

Hitam katanya, hitamlah.

Kalau putih, maka putih.

Anggukkan saja kata mereka.

Dari persepsi mereka, mungkin itu apa yang mereka lihat.

Dari persepsi kita? Nah,simpan saja. Biar jadi rahsia.

Nobody cares anyway.

Bukan sombong, cuma malas mahu bertempik lagi.

Banyak hati yang perlu dijaga.

Penat tahu bertempik pada dinding?

Jadi,mari senyum.

Senyum sebanyak banyaknya.

Selagi mampu.

Biar senyum aku dan engkau itu sentiasa ikhlas.

Bukan buat buat atau berlakon.

I have done everything I could to please

and again,

I miss the old us.

P/S : Bahan untuk assignment masih dalam progress, baru nak kumpul material saja. Buatnya entah bila. Alahai..assignment assignment..

Lifetime Lesson.

"If by enduring this pain

is

the lesson of lifetime,

I pray that I could hold on to this pain

as long as it should take."

-Anonymous-