Back Off

Where should I start? Everything is messed up. Trying to hide behind the wall of concrete truth,that is what I am currently doing. For more than two months I neglected the heart's call as I was busy mending the pieces of broken fragile soul,finally I managed to build the strength to wake up from this bad dream. Still remember when you came and asked me to spill out everything to you? "Its not good to keep your problems alone",the phrase that belonged to you. But it seems I took the wrong steps.

Sometimes I do think how I could trust you to hold such secret? You know the whole story,dear friend. Story from both sides. You know everything I feel inside outside. You know what I expected from you. Do you still remember when I used to tell you the incident that happened in the drama almost every night? It's because I trust you. I believe you are a friend. But you turned everything upside down. Sometimes I do think you are doing it on purpose,to be honest. Or should I remind you,that you owned the "special" one to think about?

Sometimes I do have the regrets for telling you the thing you shouldn't know. You destroy the trust discreetly in your own way. A great compliment with big applause should be given to you. That's very versatile,dear until I can't even read it from your eyes. Hurting me from the way you act,congratulation superb actress! You wrenched things that used to be beside me though you know how I could get hurt. Two thumbs up for your acting,professional actress.

Please, I can't go any further with this. Please put off those masks and show the world the reality that lies beneath it. Why should you turned things worst? If only I could say right in front of you, "You dont deserved to be trusted". Dear friend,if by watching me endure the pain and heal the wound specially created by you could bring the shine of happiness in your life, million of thanks to you. Regardless of what happened,you are still a friend but the scar made by you will always remain deep inside this heart.

This is what I wrote on my table ; just in case my tears would come out.

The girl who seemed unbreakable- broke.

I finally give up and back off from this game.

Congratulation for both of the fantastic casts.

You are no longer a part of me.

Thank you for showing me the path to get myself out from this drama.

This is the end.

Lampu Malam

Akhirnya aku kembali ke rumah dan akhirnya blog ini dikemaskini juga setelah segala ilham aku untuk mengisi kekosongan blog ini terbang bertebaran. Masalah emosi datang lagi. Maaf rakan-rakan. Hari tu cuti wesak,aku bukak blog. Tapi inspirasi yang aku tunggu tak kunjung tiba. Jadi,aku nekad tinggal kan blog kudus ni tanpa sebarang catatan terkini aku. Masa bersendirian dah cukup. Sekarang aku rindu tahap cipan kat blog ni mengalahkan rindu aku kat bantal busuk aku . Tu je yang aku mampu cakap.

Semalam balik Klang naik bas sekolah. Naik sekali dengan budak-budak KL Sentral. Bas gerak pukul 2 tapi 1.45 seat belakang semua da penuh. Budak-budak laki conquer. Tak guna betul. Yang turun Shah Alam naik van sekolah. Naik-naik bas,Ali bagitaw yang pakcik tu ikut highway Bidor jadi budak-budak KL Sentral turun dulu. Cis,bencana sungguh! Haziq ajak turun KL tapi aku menolak. Next time ok,ziq? Bukan apa,malas nak tunggu ktm. Dah nak sampai KL sentral memang lama gila stuck dekat plaza tol nak keluar highway tu. Memang kena bahan jelah aku sepanjang nak sampai tol tu. Redha~

Setelah anak-anak KL SEntral turun,maka senyap lah bas tu. Selamat jalan romeo ; adat, faisal,baby,faiz kamar(haha!),ba,purung,dzahier(betul ke eja?),ali,faris,haziq,taib,wan,aizat,fikar,syafiq,jaris dan bye kepada yang lain-lain maka bas pun bergerak. Jaris sempat berpesan kat aku buat essay. Haha..aku tunggu essay kau jaris! Tinggalkan KL terus ke Klang. Waaahhhhh!!! Sumpah dahsyat! Kesesakan lalulintas yang dahsyat! Memang stuck almost 2 jam jugak. Bapak boring.

Sekali dah sampai Klang,pakcik tu boleh bantai nak hantar dekat station bas yang lama tu. Aku dah pelik. Apehal pulak pakcik ni? Kata turun Klang Sentral(KS). Ni bukan Klang Sentral. Ah,sudah! "Lu kencing gua!" ,bak kata drama sebabak arahan pelajar sabda. Lepas tu,stop sekejap. Akhirnya,pakcik pun buat pengakuan bahawa dia tak tahu jalan ke KS sebab tak biasa dengan jalan Klang. Maka meronda-ronda kota lah kami dengan megahnya bersama bas sekolah menuju KS. Boleh pulak pakcik tu bantai buat lawatan sambil belajar dengan kami sampai ke malam.

Akhirnya sampai jugak. Terima kasih pakcik sebab bagi pengalaman pertama kepada saya merasa perjalanan dari bagan datoh-klang selama lebih 5 jam. Nasib baik bas cantik. Duduk lama-lama pun 'Aiman tak kisah'. Haha...

Shiro jadi penyelamat. Hero of the day ; Shiro. Thanks Shiro sebab tunjuk jalan kat pakcik tu.

Turun je bas,dah nampak ayah. Haha.. Kesian ayah. Tunggu 2 jam lebih. Takpelah,tu lah namanya pengorbanan,ye tak? Heee~ Boleh pulak ayah gelakkan aku lepas aku cerita semua telenovela yang tak berapa nak panjang tu. Free-free je aku kena gelak sebab ayah kata aku kena tipu dengan pakcik driver bus tu. Ceh,bukan nak simpati. Takpe,anak solehah~