Well, truth be told, because I faced many phases of self-discovery on this year.
Started off with a broken heart that was broken until the very last pieces that possible, I was totally lost and unable to manage my emotion , which in a very deep regret I'd say, effects my actions.
I let people looked down on me. I let people judge how broken I was. I let people take advantage on my weakness. And most importantly, I let myself become an open book. *sigh*
After a while, I started to come to my senses. I shifted into the "screw everything, I'm gonna make myself useful and better" mode.
I began to say to myself, "Why not try this? I ain't lose anything" to almost everything.
Thats how I began to meet different people, encounter different life, mingle with my unusual society, involved with things that I'd most probably say no if I were not to be that broken. I find myself was eager to find as many as possible activities to occupy the mind from being too distracted.
And that's how I created my life this year, honestly, I feel better now. A lot better than I was a year ago.
That was also how I became
a 4x400 athlete
a rugby player
an active volunteer facilitator
a sports addict
a weight conscious
a runner up for public speaking competition
a part of the forum bahasa melayu team peringkat kebangsaan
I was trying to start over the whole thing, in the effort of creating the better version of myself. I've tried to fix all the things that I can, and adapt to those that I can't , because somehow that's called living. Changes can be a real struggle, I'd say. We fall, we break, we get up and move on. No one is broken for good unless they let themselves to be. So, I surrounded myself with good people, in fact people that is out of my ordinary. I learned to see things differently, from different point of view, and create my own perspective, in a better way, of course. I no longer pay more attention to those who treated me like a trash, but instead I treated them the way they treat me. A win-win situation I guess. I was also coated with the true answer I've been searching all this while from the only person I've ever asked the particular question. It was heartbreaking at first, but then I managed.
That is where the adapting part occurs.
And most importantly, I want people to remember me with good memories.
So 2014, my second year of degree, it was a hectic one year full with everything. Self-discovery phase that comes in many stages.
Alhamdulillah, I couldn't thank Allah more for all His blessings. I am a better person now,physically,mentally,emotionally and virtually and will continuously to be better from day to day.
All in all, goodbye to 2014 in a few days.
Thanks for all the good memories. I'm glad I did make the best out of everything.
p/s : Currently in the nervous mood of waiting the result. InshaAllah kita dapat apa yang kita usahakan. Keep calm and have faith.