Silhouette

                                                                     

This song is my current addiction. Not to mention the lyrics, well,perhaps it is almost exactly what I feel now. I hope you know how much I suffered because of you. Thanks to you for this unbearable pain. Now I learn how to deal with my abrupt feeling.Thanks Owl City for making me addicted. 



                                                              "Silhouette" - Owl City

I'm tired of waking up in tears
'Cause I can't put to bed these phobias and fears
I'm new to this grief I can't explain
But I'm no stranger to the heartache and the pain

The fire I began is burning me alive
But I know better than to leave and let it die

I'm a silhouette asking every now and then
"Is it over yet? Will I ever feel again?"
I'm a silhouette chasing rainbows on my own
But the more I try to move on, the more I feel alone
So I watch the summer stars to lead me home

I'm sick of the past I can't erase
A jumble of footprints and hasty steps I can't retrace
The mountain of things I still regret
Is a vile reminder that I would rather just forget (no matter where I go)

The fire I began is burning me alive
But I know better than to leave and let it die

I'm a silhouette asking every now and then (now and then)
"Is it over yet? Will I ever smile again?"
I'm a silhouette chasing rainbows on my own
But the more I try to move on, the more I feel alone
So I watch the summer stars to lead me home

'Cause I walk alone
No matter where I go
'Cause I walk alone
No matter where I go
'Cause I walk alone
No matter where I go

I'm a silhouette asking every now and then (now and then)
"Is it over yet? Will I ever love again?"
I'm a silhouette chasing rainbows on my own
But the more I try to move on, the more I feel alone
So I watch the summer stars to lead me home

I watch the summer stars to lead me home.

Izzatulisme  : I am no longer easily fooled. =)

Spoil

Sedap main basketball sampai hujan2 tadi,
serius rasa macam tak jejak tanah aku.
Sedap kot main tak hengat problem.
Release tension dan segala adik beradiknya.
Pheww~

Tapi on the way back tu, aku ingat nak lari daripada problem.
And I seriously thought the problem would not  chase me,at least upon that joyful moment.
But then, I gazed at you-know-who tadi.
Dia pun baru habis main basketball. Well,we played on the same court cuma berlainan side je.
Dia naik motor, bonceng belakang,sambil kepit dua bola basket bawah armpit dia.
Darah aku macam mendidih tak memasal.
Ah sudah.
Muka jadi panas pulak tiba tiba.

Kurang budi bahasa punya manusia.
Berani nak gelak2 bergembira suka riang ria ribena depan aku?
Lepas apa yg kau dah buat kat aku?
Lepas kau dah janji sakan dengan aku.
Urgh...
Ikut hati jahat aku, bola basket yang aku tengah pegang tu, nak je aku baling daripada belakang,kasi hentak kat kepala dia daripada belakang. Biar barai kepala dia sekali dengan bola bola basket kesayangan dia tu. HAHAHAHAAHAHA *gelak jahat*

Okay,aku jahat. :p

Sukahati tabur janji sana sini dekat orang, bajet taiko sweet talker?
Ergh. Mendidih tau darah aku tengok kau seronok sana sini
lepas kau torture emosi aku sampai parah macam ni.
Kau sangat jahat dan kejam dan dan dan dan patut dihantar ke pusat penjagaan kanak kanak.
Pfft...
Serius serius, kau tak layak pun nak senyum apatah lagi ketawa2 depan aku.
Rasa nak tarik je semua gigi kau.

Ok,done.

Spoil mood betul. =='

Toyed

Kadang kadang kan,
I dont know.
At this stage,bukan nak berlagak bajet kuat tough ke apa,
 its just that aku ada satu rasa yang datang tiba tiba.

I want to be the kind of person that when people look at me and  learn my story,
they'll be like "Ah..no wonder la dia jadi macam ni ye sekarang?"

I want people to understand that every lesson comes from my life is significant,each.
And I am not the type of person who lets people enter and escape my life as they please.
I'm not that easy,for God sake.
I make friends but my feeling is not to be toyed.
Tak tau what is the main idea that keeps lingering on my head since just now,but I am looking forward to be that kind of person.

And most important part is ; I want the person who responsible for it to know,to be aware no man should be redeemed as the main cause of all these unless that person itself. Yes my dear you, I am talking about you.

Izzatulisme : Terinspired kejap daripada cerita senior kot. Ah,aku ni mmg mudah terpengaruh budaknya. Kau letak Mr.Patrick depan aku and said that he looks similar to Spongebob pun aku dah senang nak terpengaruh. hewhew

*eh,tu mcm bangang sangat pulak kot? =='

All praises to Him.

In every difficulties, there is always a solution to it. We may not realize this, but sometimes it’s not about the calamities that heave in sight but more to how we cope with them. In every breathe, there should be no harm to at least say “Alhamdulillah” as Allah still have the sympathy towards us, by rewarding us with this ultimate bliss consciousness and hold us from go astray. Astaghfirullahalazim.

 I was once being told by a friend of mine,in our life, there’s no need to spill everything to the world, lets keep some parts to ourselves and Allah. There is a reason why it is called personal though. I aint perfect neither. I am no angel. I made mistakes and so long I gasping for air, my life will never be mistakes-free. For every tear that trickled down my face, mostly is not because of Him. I shudder in solitude, yet I still wonder will there  still be someone out there to at least give me a hand, when not even a glimpse of thought I was aware I still have Him, who is always there, waiting for me to turn to Him whenever I feel in need.  The horrendous thoughts always leave me in vague. I was completely flummoxed by the whole things happened in my life.

I was blinded by the gifts he had given me. Towering my head without saying gratitude towards the Him, the one who owned my soul, our souls.

For everything happened be it good or bad, for every time He guides me to the right path, say Alhamdulillah.  As we can never know the signs that Allah leaves for us.

I thanked You, Ya Allah for all these wake up calls.

Pacing Back.

Whenever I hear "You Took My Heart Away" by Michael Learns to Rock,

"A Thousand Years" by C.Perri,

"Next to You" by Chris Brown

"Heart Vacancy" by The Wanted,

pasaraya "Tunas Manja"

or

whenever I eat Tempoyak Ikan Patin,

Whenever I watch Kobe Bryant in basketball,

Liverpool matches,

or people wearing Liverpool jersey,

or the tag "You'll Never Walk Alone"

dodgeball,

dikir barat,

or see the Redbull drink anywhere,

or gazing at a watch with the brand of ROSCANI,

I could still recall when we used to exchange our watches.


And sadly, none of them could not lighten up my memory towards you.

Every single one of them seems to steal my thoughts on you.

Dear heart,please stay strong. :')

p/s : Will be going back tomorrow to Selangor. Eventhough it will be only for two days,but I still feel the contentment to be at home. I dont know,with all this misery, home is my only remedy.