Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Ini Cerita Saya (part 1)
Well,since one my friends asked me to share my experiences leading a life as a hostel's student. Here you are,dear! This is the only thing I can share with you. Nothing much actually. Most of them knew my stories,arent they? But please take note- I'm not good at memorizing things so there might be some stories left behind. No offense. Let's begin with the first day I stepped in the school.
The first day, I saw the school. And everything seems to suit what I've always imagined before. No big surprise. So just like any other students, I went through all the registration(*pls correct me if i'm wrong!) process and that's it! Officially I am the SABDA's students. Blah blah blah. Before we went to the surau to perform the maghrib prayer,we went to the dining hall to eat our dinner? Who are we? Its me,Farah and Khadijah. Suddenly,I saw a face. Seems familiar and unexpectedly,a sudden action from that boy,shouting my name at the middle of the dining hall,asking "Bila kau sampai?". So I showed him the sign "LATER" which means I'll talk to him later. That lucky guy? Of course it is Haziq Ishak. The time for prep session has arrived. Night's prep. As a clueless girl who knew nothing about the schedule in that school,I just followed every single thing stated exactly punctual on the time in which I need not. I mean like, I am supposed to have some spare time to relax myself. During the prep time,Khadijah introduced me to all my classmates but I couldn't see any chance I would be happy staying in that class.
Being too nerdy,I make myself punctual for every activities. Gosh! At that moment,I swear I regretted my decision for transferring to the school. Totally damn exhausted was the main solid reason I make myself felt empty there. Situation with my current classmates,arghh!! Why all of them seems to ignore my presence? I was like a statue at the back of the class as nobody notice my presence. I hate that!! All of the NANIRO's and 4 St/1 faces came to appear in my views. I just can't get focus with my lesson. Who cares about that? My heart is not at peace ; my soul doesn't belong there. How am I supposed to study? In fact,the mental torture continuously with the teacher's learning method that I can't adapt. I almost,nearly gave up with myself though I've tried to sooth myself,to be stronger as this is what they called challenges. But still,I miss Andalas so bad until I can't resist those tears. Tears became my best partner for the one whole week.
The surrounding gave me an unpleasant feeling that I hate and I'm certain I need to get rid of it as soon as possible. The way? Yes,absolutely. I need to transfer back to my previous school. I have almost everything there. Its like I couldn't ask for anything better. That's my main goal for that particular moment. So,during the "riadah" time on the next day after I registered,I called my parents, making them even more worried about my conditions. I picked up the phone,called them just to ask how they are doing in which actually I can't stop to think about them since they left me yesterday. I reminded myself not to cry when talking to them on the phone because I refused to hear they get worried over me. Yet, I lost to myself. When I hear their voices on the phone,those tears came out without permission.
I went through my first weekend at the hostel. Observing how people entertained themselves just to lead a happy life. I must do the same! Wake up at 6 o'clock,perform the Subuh prayer,recite Al-Quran as much as I wish with irresistible tears and around 6.30 I went to dining hall to fill the stomach though my appetite seems to forget its track. Luckily it is Saturday. After having my breakfast, I went back to my dorm just to take a few things and went out again with Farah to Bilik Rekreasi to watch television. I can't stay at the dorm and never for the one whole week. I am absolutely uncomfortable with my dormmates. Just like living with strangers,that's exactly what I felt at that moment. Lying alone on the bed at dorm makes me remind of everything I shouldn't! Oh no!
p/s : to be continue okayh,too sleepy to continue writing. need to sahur!