Tomorrow will be going back to hostel. Back to routine. What a life! Nikmat cuti hilang di balik awan. And right now,I don't know if I have the courage to face him again. One week without him,yes. I can proudly say I am healing this wound but without his presence. Without looking at his face everyday. That's the main point. So,I'm afraid I might lose with myself.
I'm not sure if I could continue to be a "super professional hypocrite" with him. Yeah,I'm getting used with this. I'm not sure if I could face another day of this unbearable pain. I'm not sure if I should ever feel this way. I'm not sure how to get rid of this idiotic childish fears. I'm not sure if I'm taking the perfect steps. I'm not sure with myself. Yeah,I'm currently living in uncertainty,if that is what you labelled me right now.
Somehow,that is life. I can't wish life to be like a fairytale with a happy ending. I must keep telling my heart,life doesn't always goes on my way. After having a short conversation with my mind,yes. I should continue the drama as long as the time doesn't reveal everything. I've promised him one thing and when the time comes,he will know the truth behind all these drama.
If you love something,
let it go.
If it comes back to you,
If it doesn't, it never was.