Saturday, February 13, 2010
When The Heart Speaks..
Lately,I keep receiving news regarding heart and feelings. Well,it's kinda suprising to get to know something when you are less expecting it. Haha..mumbling again. It's like the theme for current situation is "LOVE IS IN THE AIR".
I discovered a lot of news as each day passed by. And all those things make me wanna smile like I'm having the non-stop-smiling disease.
Falling for someone isn't what we called a crime. And I tend to have a crush on someone instead of falling for him. It hurts to see when the person we love never know that these smiles are all fake and he never knew the disaster behind them. And it is hurting me inside when I need to learn the fastest way to be a professional hypocrite in front of him. Yeah,in front of him. And lately,the song "The Reason" is my best partner. It's because he's the reason.
And to be honest,I've started to have this feeling towards him since last year but I'm trying my hardest to deny it before it gets critical. Malas nak fikir banyak and malas nak bersoal jawab dengan perasaan sendiri. One word. He has something that I can't see in another people. Unique. But I always remind myself,don't put any hopes. Jangan sesekali melukut tepi gantang. Melukut tepi gantang tak pernah berbaloi,Izzatul Nazihah.
Sekarang ni,I'm taking the steps away from him. I mean "away" from him. I must prepare myself mentally before things get hard. Drifting away from him is obviously giving me the pain that I need to endure. Each time I try to distance myself from him,the heart is dying inside as I just can't find my breathes. Believe it or not,I never have this kind of feeling before this. Berperang dengan hati dan perasaan sendiri sangat menyeksakan. Trust me. It's killing me silently to act like nothing's happened with him. But whatever happens,he never know. And he will never know.
Again,I must and I need to remind myself-
He's just a guy,a special one,maybe but he's not mine. Dear heart,please whisper to him
"Thank you dear for those beautiful moments."