Dont speak. Think with me. I do everything that people do to pursue their dream. I risked being safe to do whatever it takes to be a part of high-achievers. But yet, I wonder. I never think of how my happiness would be. Instead, I am afraid of how their reaction would turned out to be. In which precisely, I put myself on the second rank. And both of them managed to win over the first rank of my priorities. I put aside the joy to a satisfaction of my own.
Yes, I know everyone will do the same. But I just need some space to say to a mirror of my own reflection, "Did I do this in my willingness or just as another obligation to be fulfilled?". Please sincerity,do come spread your magic charm on me. I am taking action with your absence. Yes, I did this for them. Not for me. I am not afraid of any disappointment but to their frustration? Sorry, I cannot and can never be ready.
Mostly people will decide their interest. Holding the power to choose their own next day. But it just seems that they wrenched that part from me. I picked things to their desire and swallow all my voices as I have no idea where all those courage flew away. They create the design of how my life progress should be. Perhaps I will find a way to plant some seeds of sincerity in this heart. Look at things from their side and maybe this is how I can eliminate the feeling of being forced.
Please please please Allah,
Help me to be in the best state of mind.